Stay Out Of My Damn Garbage!!!!!

So your driving down the street on garbage night, and you notice someone has thrown out a sofa that seems to be in decent shape. You're down on your luck at the moment, and every little bit helps. The family that set it on the curb obviously doesn't need it anymore, so you might as well take it. Of course it's not truly free. You will have to spend $4.99 on some bug spray to kill the little critters that have made the old love seat their home.

Now if I am the one who set that couch next to my garbage containing my son's crap filled diapers, and you want it...I'm cool with that. Heck, if nothing else you are saving my garbage man some heavy lifting in the morning. But there is a line in the sand that should not be crossed when turning one's trash into your treasure. I am talking to all of you "Garbage Hunters". You know who you are. You drive around in your piece of crap truck that you have modified using 2X4's to build up the sides. You don't just take the big items left by the curb...you actually go through my garbage. The last 2 weeks I have caught these trash trackers opening my garbage cans and going through my recycling bin. What the hell are you looking for? But that is not the worst part. They leave the garbage they spill all over the yard. Tonight I actually said something to Billy Bob and his wife/sister. I asked her what she was doing in my garbage and she said "Just Looking". Are you flipping serious? LOOKING FOR WHAT? I told the tobacco chewing woman to pick up the trash she spilled, and she tried to tell me it was like that when she got there. Right...because I have 6 foot racoons in my neighborhood that can open 5 foot garbage cans that are strapped shut. She then went on to tell me that the curb is public property and she was not breaking any laws. I don't know if that is true or not, so I moved my trash back 5 feet right in front of her and told her I was pretty sure that wasn't public property. She then picked up her 3 month old and left. (OK..I made that last part up).

Listen....if you want a big item that I call junk..go ahead. But stop rooting through my garbage cans like you are going to find $1000 in cash. And if you spill something during your excavation...put it back. It is bad enough you feel the need to collect things that are...well....CRAP. So do me a favor, and "STAY OUT OF MY DAMN GARBAGE!!!!!!