Good Answer, Good Answer!!!!!!!!

"We surveyed 100 people, top 6 answers are on the board. Name a food that people might call someone" DING DING DING "Turkey" ("good answer, good answer"). "Show me Turkey". Ding. "Number 2 answer. OK John, you can still get one answer higher. Name a food that people might call someone". "Snake" ("good answer, good answer")........

OK, I am just going to stop there. Because even a 3 legged retarded kid from Kentucky can tell you that "snake" is not going to be up there, so no need for me to play it out. If you have not figured it out yet, either you are the 3 legged retarded kid from Kentucky, or you never watch TV.....EVER! I am talking about Family Feud. I was watching the ever-so-delightful game show last night, and as you can imagine, I have a problem with the show that takes an IQ of negative 7 to play. Here in lies my "problem" with Family Feud:

For starters, where do they get these people? Deep in the woods of Alabama? If that were true, I could see where referring to snake as a food would seem logical. But seriously, how hard is it to get the first couple of obvious answers? Once you get down to the remaining answer, I will back off a little and agree it may not be as easy to get it. But when someone asks you to name a food that people might call someone, before you even hit that buzzer, Turkey, Pig, Cheese-ball, Chicken, and Hot Dog should already be in your head. That covers 5 of the 6 answers right there. But no. Mr. Genius comes up with Snake. Had the question been "name an animal that people might call someone", this guy would be declared winner-winner-chicken-dinner.

So maybe he was just nervous. Maybe he misunderstood the question for name an animal instead of name a food. Lets go ahead and cut him some slack, and see how he recovers in the next round. "We surveyed 100 people, top 5 answers are on the board. Name a food you could still eat if you didn't have any teeth". Ok. Let's stop there for a second. Did everyone come up with either mashed potato's, ice cream, soup, jello, or pudding? That would be all 5 answers right there. Pat yourself on the back. Even our 3 legged retarded friend from Kentucky is attempting to clap in excitement, seeing as how he got at least 2 right. The first 2 people in line go with soup and jello. Great start. Then we get to snake boy. Without missing a beat, he says "slim fast". Even I can't make this s#*t up people. Slim fast....really? That is the best you could come up with? Really? WOW!!!!

Now we have covered the first part of what gets my golden la-may thong in a bunch. That would be stupid people. I have always said there is no such thing as a stupid question...just stupid people. I'm sorry. Stupid isn't very nice. Let's go with "smart-challenged". Is that better? Now the second part to my getting all bent out of shape over a silly game show is the families. When that guy said "snake", the other 4 members of his family are clapping and yelling "good answer, good answer". NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!! Not good answer. Terrible answer. Lets say my beautiful family is on that show. And lets say the question is...ohhh...."name a sport that is played on grass" It is my sisters turn (I won't use names, but it begins with a T)...and she yells out "Hockey"...all proud as if she was just healed of Polio by a TV Evangelist....you can bet all 3 legs on our kid from Kentucky that my ass is not going to clap and say good answer. I am going to look at her like a tourist looks at a Chinese McDonald's menu (confused and bewildered for those of you falling behind), and most likely slap her if I am close enough. Are you f@#*ing kidding me? Is your name really Corky? I love you sis, but way to not be smarter than a 5th grader on national television. At this point, I am telling the crowd that I am a product of the milkman, and covering my face as I exit the stage. I can't wait to see what you come up with next. If the question is "name a word that begins with the letter A", what is your flash of brilliance going to be this time? "Uhhhh...PIZZA!!! Yeah...I did it". Yo sis...you have some applesauce dripping from the corner of your mouth. I don't know....maybe you have to say good answer. Maybe it is in the contract.

So there you have it people. Now if you will excuse me, I am off to watch Jepordy with my pal from Kentucky. Maybe I can beat him.